So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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