btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
