Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
