just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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