he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There r osticjed everywhere
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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