i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
