just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize