My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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