I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
