whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
