So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
