So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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