Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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