Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
