I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
