just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
