this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
where am i from again
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
