By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
