She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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