soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Boobs are out for the taking
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
