How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
