Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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