yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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