I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
