Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she looked like the before picture.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
