Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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