And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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