he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
