I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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