i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
