yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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