Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My life is pants optional.
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