So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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