dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize