Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
