How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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