Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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