My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
