I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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