Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
