do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
