dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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