So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
