He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
