Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
