i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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