making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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