is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
