i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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