girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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