im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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