If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
