if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
do nipples grow back?
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