It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
